We have all been told by somebody at one point or another that we have to get out of our comfort zone. It’s a very commonly used expression, so commonly used, I believe the term has gotten out of hand. Between my friends, peers and other bloggers, I hear this term so much that I believe now it is misused and mispresents itself.
Don’t get me wrong, getting out of your comfort zone is a good and important part of life. It will make your life more enriched and you a better person as a result. However I ask, is there not a difference between doing something that you would want to do if fear wasn’t a factor and doing something that would make you uncomfortable and unhappy? So many times I hear people being pressured to do things under this guise. It’s almost like an insult or threat these days, ‘you have to leave your comfort zone sometime’, as if your being accused of something by not leaving your comfort zone.
After having a conversation with a friend, I have really seen this such distinct different that seems to get blurred through pressure, a lack of understanding and ignorance. I have a friend that wants to travel solo but is a little timid. (she’ll probably be reading this, hi friend!) and I think that she should go for it, as long as she is prepared for the negatives as well. She knows that she is not one to particularly enjoy being alone and doing things alone, so she needs to be prepared that solo travel definately at least has moments of really being by yourself and doing things alone and at the end of the day, she has to be comfortable with it and decide if fear is the only thing hold her back or if there is more to it than that.
If I am being open and honest, which I try to be as much as possible when it comes to writing this blog, because it’s only going to benefit me if I am honest with myself and with everyone reading, I’ve been pressured with this comfort zone line before and it’s lead me down a hole. As most people reading this probably already know, I was meant to live overseas with my now ex-boyfriend in a ski resort in Park City Utah, after we backpacked europe, but we only really made it through the backpacking Europe part. Something I have never really shared before is that I didn’t really want to live in Park City Utah and I was scared about living at in ski resort in America. I was scared about being away for so long, and I see now and at the time that the time was just something I feared but wanted to do, so therefore ‘leaving my comfort zone’ would be the appropriate term to use, I wanted it, I just wasn’t comfortable with it. But living in a small ski town wasn’t really a fear thing, but it was a ‘I just didn’t think I would like it thing’ I don’t like small towns, I like cities and liveliness and being around things that are happening. It’s not a bad thing, thats just what I like and who I am. My version of culture shock has never been being in Beijing or Phnom Penh or Bangkok, it’s small isolated country towns and its not so much of a shock as a dred and general disinterest. But I agreed to go and live in a place I didn’t want to live, under the pressure of ‘you have to get out of your comfort zone’, feeling like I wasn’t an adventerous person if I didn’t give it a go and try it, despite knowing myself.
That line between ‘getting out of comfort zone’ and ‘feeling pressured to do something that just isn’t you’ is a clear cut one if you trust your gut, yet it still gets ever so blurred from pressure from people and society, don’t let that line blur. I know I never will again.
Hi Simon
I was going to not approve this because its a bit weird that you read it and wrote that, but at the same time, you make a pretty good point.
I don’t think i’ve ever really said that I am completely over him or the situation and it hasn’t been easy to deal with at times, its not like I think about it all day every day, but it does pop up from time to time. I have said that yes jeff and me obviously didn’t work for many reasons and are not right for one another, but I am definately not over all the experiences and all the positive and negative ways in which he shaped my life and maybe it seems like a lot of time to not be but I am still processing. It’s not so much about him anymore as it is about me seeing things I didn’t before and become more aware.
I find writing helps me process and situations and thoughts about things that happen in my past do come up in my head. Maybe it seems overkill and maybe it is. But by being told you had a nervous breakdown because you were unable to express yourself and by knowing that the way to counteract that is to write about it, well then that is what I will do.
and haah, yes I thought about blocking you, but alas me and my lack of computer skills don’t know how.
You seem to write for many of the same reasons I do–to just process what’s going on in your life, and to share that processing with others. I think you will come to your own resolution of your issues; it’s just while you’re writing you’re still in the process of getting there. I’ve enjoyed going on that journey with you so far.
And I see a lot of wisdom in what you write too, especially for someone as young as you are.
Thanks for the positive feedback. Yes it is very much a process of writing out your issues, you figure out things inside you that you didn’t realise were even there really, it certainly helps me sort through my thoughts and give them structure and at the end of the day lots of a hard yet valuable lessons I have learnt have been through some really negative experiences and I am determined to not have to go through them again.
thanks, looking forward to reading more about your thoughts and journey as well.
Wow. What an incredible post, and it’s so true! Your words resonate so much with me. I have found that it’s hard to get out of my comfort zone, but in certain situations when I do, the strength I gain is such a great “gift.” However, at other times, I get too worried about the uncertainty.
I’m glad you can relate. I just find that to many times people aren’t just ‘getting out of their comfort zone’ but are just doing things they don’t want to do because of peer pressure and believing that its what society wants from them, when they don’t want it to begin with.