Introversion Understood

Do you define yourself as an introvert or an extrovert? Do you know what these terms mean? Whilst these terms are common, everyday words I find the term introversion so misused in society and so misunderstood. I am an introvert. I have always known I am an introvert and I come from a family of strong introverts. However people often make the mistake and believe introversion to go hand in hand with shyness and social avoidance. Whilst commonly shy people are introverted, I know plenty of shy, socially awkward extroverts and plenty of people who are introverted but are not in the least bit shy or withdrawn. It really bothers me lately how misunderstood introversion is, so this is my rant to explain it. With only 20% of the world being introverted, it makes it an even smaller window of understanding for the introverts to expect. So here are some facts about what introversion truly is and what it’s not.

1. Shyness and introversion are not the same thing – shyness is experiencing feelings of fear and social avoidance. However an introverted person is not necessarily  shy, but is someone who is drained by social contact. Extraverted people get their energy from sensory movements and stimulation. They feed off being around others and being around others gives them energy.  Social contact  works as a positive upwards spiral. Introverts on the other hand, whilst can still enjoy social situations, social situations become draining and the energy levels of an introvert work in a negative downwards spiral during social interation.This means after a long party, introverted people are drained of energy and need solitude to regard, extraverted people are feeling pretty energized from the experience.

2. Introverts do like to socialize too – Yes, social activities are enjoyable and I am not a loner. Introverted people are still regular humans who need human contact to survive. We just require it in a different way. Introverts love anything that involves deep conversation. They get energized by smaller group situations and discussing subjects that are important to them. They love to see how other people think, to connect the dots and participate in lively conversations. They tend to prefer a smaller amount of  significant friends as opposed to a large amount of less close friends in a massive network.  Introverts can be the life of the party, however for a shorter period of time and will rarely party ALL weekend, which brings me to my next point.

3. Introverts need downtime – The reason introverts won’t party ALL weekend but can still be the life of the party whilst they are at one, is because they need downtime. The social experience, whilst enjoyable, is also draining. They need solitude to recharge the batteries and be their bubbly selves again. They need time alone like we all need food and water. This downtime is required for full mental functioning. Introverts tend to be very reflective and this reflective period is part of how this downtime works, it’s a way for introverts to gain energy. They look within rather than outside themselves.

We live in an extraverted world and I myself as a massive introvert know how misunderstood introversion is. There is only 20% of us. Don’t pity us introverts, we are pretty happy and don’t try to force us to be social when we don’t want to be. There is nothing wrong with us other than we are drained. If you are extraverted, think how you feel if you haven’t socialized at all for a long period of time, we feel something similar when we have all the time. Stressed, anxious and in need of a recharge. Don’t dismiss us because we function differently, just accept that we do.

Liebster Blogger Award and Sunshine Blog Award

One of the best parts about being on a completely separate timezone to most of the blogging world is waking up to find blogging activities. It is always exciting to wake up and find that whilst I was sleeping and dreaming away, people were reading my blog, liking, commenting or better yet, deciding to follow it. But this morning their was a little extra surprise. I had been nominated for 2 awards. It is lovely to be recognized The Liebster Blog Award and the Sunshine Blog Award. I am going to complete this all in one post and be a little bit of a cheat and nominate the same blogs for both awards, since both categories definitely fit them.

The Liebster Blogger Award rules are:
1. Thank the one who nominated you by linking back.
2. Nominate five blogs with less than 200 followers.
3. Let your nominees know by leaving a comment on their sites.
4. Add the award image to your site.

So thank you Amy who writes a terrific blog which you can find here. http://readncook.wordpress.com/ I really encourage you to check it out. I particularly love the comment in her about me section about the quiet ones. As a fellow ‘quiet one’ I surely can relate.

Rules to Accept the Award:

1. Include the award logo in a post or somewhere on your blog.
2. Answer 10 questions about yourself.
3. Nominate 10 to 12 other fabulous bloggers.
4. Link your nominees to the post and comment on their blog, letting them know about the award.
5. Share the love and link the person who nominated you.

Answers to the Ten Questions About Me:

1. What is my first childhood memory?

The day we went to choose our dog. I was 4. We bought her from a breeder and there was a number of tiny little Cocker Spaniels to choose from, but she choose me, well my shoes and stinky feet actually. We didn’t get to take her home for a couple more weeks and I remember those weeks felt like forever.

2. What is your favourite country?

Other than Australia, I love Cambodia and Spain.

3. How would you describe yourself?

Slim, short, small,

4. What states have you lived in?

New South Wales

5. What is your style?

Skinny Jeans, because they are the only jeans that give me any shape, before skinny jeans, I had no arse.

6. What is your favorite breakfast food?

When you don’t like eggs, breakfast is not your favourite meal of the day. But I am a true Aussie and nothing beats Vegemite Toast, it’s a uquired taste.

7. What are some of your hobbies?

Pondering about life, Basketball, movies, TV shows, researching, snoozing.

8. If you could meet anyone who would it be?

Marilyn Monroe, she seems so simply insightful, would be wonderful to pick her brain.

9. What is one of your “passions”?

I was surprised how effected I was by the homeless around the world. I am also passionate about justice being served in Cambodia, though I know it never will.

10. What is one truth that you have learned?

That my gut tells me things for a reason, you can only ever be lost if you stop listening to it.

And now to nominate other blogs. This is a hard task, most of the blogs I follow have most probably already recieved this awards. But I nominate.

http://lifeintheblueridges.wordpress.com/ (I know I am breaking the rules because she has a lot of followers)

http://bariatricbeginnings.com/

http://lied2girl.wordpress.com/

http://fivedepartment.com/

There are plenty more that I could nominate and if I do comment and follow your blog, I do enjoy it very much.

The Dictator – Breaking the Curse

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am cursed. The Sasha Baron Cohen curse. The two relationships in my life have been significantly impacted by two movies, Borat and Bruno. 2 bad first date films, 2 relationships later and one single girl still left standing, just. Yes that is right, somehow I managed to get myself on almost the same first date again, without inadvertently knowing that I was. Only me. You would think when a guy takes you to see a Sasha Baron Cohen film for a first date the alarm bells would ring, however my alarm bells remained muted, not once but on two occasions.What can I say, take me to a Sasha Baron Cohen film and I am an easy women, as history has shown us anyway

When I first saw the advertisements for the Dictator I cringed. My first reaction was to just go to and from work everyday without making eye contact with any man along the way and lock myself in my room until it stopped showing in cinemas. I could not end up on that same first date again. I could not allow history to repeat itself once-more. But instead last night, I broke the curse. I saw the dictator with 3 of my closest friends. No possibility of ending up on a history repeating date.

As for the movie, the Dictator does not even come close to Borat or Bruno and I don’t reccommend it. The shock value has been lost and the Dictator is missing the best element of the other films. No bagging out really over the top stupid, ignorant Americans. (I know it’s not all of you American’s by any means) The Dictator is tired and old hat now, but hey, at least the curse is broken. May my next first date not be filled with Sasha Baron Cohen.

Steps Towards Happiness – Re-gaining Something Lost

On my road to happiness (I feel a bit of a sham still calling it that, because I am more content than I have been, possibly ever right now) but on my road towards regaining myself to be the confident and carefree person that I was, another step has been taken. I have started planning a trip again. It may be a little premature (yes I have only been working for about a month) but by December over Christmas and New Year I will accumulate enough leave for a 3 week trip or if I wait until march, a 4 week trip. Right now in this early stage I am just going over my options. This trip will most probably be taken by myself, which I think will be good for me again. I’ve done it before, so there should be no reservations in doing it again, although this isn’t true. I am a little timid about doing it again, my confidence levels have changed since coming back from when I first did go away by myself. But going away solo is what made my confidence levels so high in the first place and is the number one way to get them back.

Me and travelling have also had a bumpy past. The best time of my life and the time I hold most fondly was overseas, however so was my darkest hour, but I really don’t want to let what essentially is one bad experience with one bad decision ruin travel for me altogether.

Still unsure as to where exactly my trip will be taken, most probably India, though some of me does want to go back to the USA again. It’s almost as if me and the USA have a score to settle. I didn’t like it last time (except New York in which I think about going back to constantly) but there is so much I never got to see that I wanted to see and I kind of feel like me and the USA have a score to settle after everything that happened. But who knows, all I know is that I am reading travel books and looking into trips and it’s really exciting.

First World Needs

I’ve always been brought up to not want too much stuff. As a kid I had lots of toys, but my parents use to point out that I would take the same one with me everywhere, so what was the point in having the rest. This principle has kind of being one I have lived by. Friends have all pointed out how little stuff I have (I’m not a hoarder either) when I have always thought I had as much as anyone. (perhaps I should be going through their things as well). I have always thought that anyone just needs the basics. Whilst this is still essentially true, I am now a little more aware of reality. That sometimes things can make life better and that doesn’t make you a materialistic bitch.

I have never in the past been a fan of smartphones. I have a computer and I can access it at home. I don’t need my phone to tell me the weather, I can walk outside. I don’t need my phone to go on facebook, I have already spent to much of my life on my facebook account as is. But I have realised lately that there is a point where you have to keep up the world as well, or you get left behind. These items then become needs, first world needs.

When I was job hunting, I’d get calls on my mobile (another first world need) with people asking to shoot through something by email. They also expected this basically instantly. But what if I didn’t have a phone that has email, an Ipad and I wouldn’t have access to my computer until after the close of business. Well then apparently I wasn’t going to get my notice for my interview before the interviews the next day, so therefore I missed my chance. My lack of owning a smartphone had all of a sudden cost me the chance to earn a living. (granted it was a crap job anyway and I love the job I now have, take that!) But having a smartphone has now become a need, a first world need. It’s not about keeping up with the Jones, it’s about keeping up with the world and functioning on the same level. You have to change with the pace.

So since getting my new awesome job, I lashed out and bought myself a new present. A Samsung Galaxy SII. It’s an amazing phone. And whilst I am YEARS behind getting exciting about apps that my friends have allll soooo tottaalllly known about for years, it’s still exciting to me. Though I do have a new co-worker that just got his first smart phone today. Guess he had the same post uni, I can’t get a job because I don’t have a smart phone problem too.

I guess I am too quick to judge materialism. There is a point where it’s not materialistic, it’s a kind of need. A first world need.

Have you thanked Obama?

http://www.allout.org/en/actions/thanksobama

If you’re all for Marriage Equality like I am, then be sure to thank Obama for his change in support. It’s refreshing to see politicians taking a stance on what they believe rather than what is easy.

Domestic Abuse on Glee

Firstly, yes I am a self-confessed Gleek. I may be too old to watch glee, but hey, tell that to my 55-year-old father that watches it with me every week.

Glee in the past has dealt with some serious life issues. Sexuality, suicide, death, disability, teen pregnancy and OCD just to name a few. So it comes to no surprise that domestic abuse has become a topic of interest to explore and it was a bold and excellent choice to choose Coach Beiste as the choice of victim, as she is not one who you would expect. She’s big and tough and from the outside world’s perspective, it looks like she can take care of herself. However in reality she has very low sense of self-esteem and self-worth, which doesn’t help battered women.

It impressed me how much understanding this storyline gave to women in situations of domestic abuse. It looked at how hard it is for these women to walk away, despite how clear-cut the decision should be. The only thing missing from the exploration of domestic abuse was the failure to mention any other kinds of abuse other than physical violence. If anything physical violence is the one that most people realise that you definitely have to walk away from. It is also very noticeable to the outside world. There is only so long you are going to be able to hide it and deny it for. However domestic abuse can take many forms, in which are not as commonly talked about and as widely discussed. Types of abuse  such as emotional abuse in domestic situations as well as psychological abuse. Whether abuse is physical, emotional or mental, abuse is aimed to control the victim. But what if the victim is controlled emotionally or mentally. Is it just as harmful?

Many psychologists would argue that yes, it is just as harmful if not more so, because emotional and psychological abuse alike physical abuse happen behind closed doors but unlike physical abuse, it is invisible to the outside world. All in all, a bold choice of story arc and a bold choice of topic, I just wish Glee took it that one bit further like it usually does with other issues it presents.

Any recent shows that you wish explored an issue better than they did?

Steps Towards Happiness – Appreciating the Little Things

Like a beautiful Autumn sunset on the way home from work.

Psychology of Happiness

In the last 6 months, achieving happiness and the psychology of happiness has become a large focus in my life. Post nervous breakdown, it was clear that changes needed to be made, however what these changes had to be, was not so clear. Here are some facts about happiness that make the changes needed to get happy that little bit clearer.

1. Your genes and family upbringing account for only half of your happiness levels.

2. Only 10 percent of your happiness comes from external circumstances. Genes and upbringing influence about 50% of the variation in our personal happiness, our circumstances (income and environment) affect only about 10 percent. The remaining 40% is accounted for by our outlook and activities, including our relationships, friendships and jobs, our engagement in the community and our involvement in sports and hobbies.

3. Your outlook on life, and what you choose to do with your life accounts for 40 percent of your happiness levels. This includes your friendships, work, and participation in your community.

4. It gets easier as you age. A 2005 U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention survey showed ages 20-24 are sad for 3.4 days per month. Those aged between 65-74 are sad only 2.3 days per month

5. A mere 20 minutes of exercise, three days each week will increase your happiness by 10 to 20 percent after six months.

6. The happier you are, the more antibodies your body generates – up to 50 percent more, in fact.

7. In the United States, the number of people with clinical depression is 3 to 10 times more common than it was for their grandparents at the same age.

8. Happy people generally earn more than unhappy people.

9. Women are unhappiest in their life around the age of 37; men around the age of 42.

10. Dancing increases happiness.

11. Sports facilities and community centres increase a community’s overall happiness.

12. Money can buy happiness. Those who can afford to have their basic material needs taken care of are happier than those who cannot.

13. Money has its limits. After having your basic material needs met, additional money does not have any impact on your levels of happiness.

14. People in relationships are usually happier than people who are single, however….

15. Happier people are more likely to retain relationships.

16. Education and intelligence do not make you more happy than anyone else.

17. Happiness has a fragrance. Clinical experiments on body odour have proved your scent changes between when you are stressed or happy

18. The more you hug your children, the happier they will be as adults.

19. The most powerful way to increase your short-term feelings of happiness is to perform random acts of kindness to others, or to send a letter of gratitude to someone you care about. Five such acts in a week will increase your happiness for up to three months.

20. The most powerful way to increase your long-term feelings of happiness is to change your thoughts rather than your circumstances. Thought patterns are are like stubborn habits, they aren’t going to change straight away, but you can train yourself to change them.

21. Happy people live up to 10 years longer than their depressed peers.

Week One Done

Uahhhhh, there is nothing like the feeling of finally getting to bed on a friday after a big week. In all honesty, I haven’t experienced this feeling in a long time. The satisfaction of the weekend rolling around and a well earned weekend. Oh employment.

This first week has been a really hard yet productive week. My new job is hard, with a lot to learn and I am feeling very much like a fish out of water. I’ve been so excited about getting a job lately that it has kind of hit me that, now that I have a job, I will actually have to do it.  It’s great to be in a job that takes a while to learn, it’s complicated but it’s interesting. There is no room to get bored, not for a very long time.

I am also loving working in the CBD. Whilst the commute is a bit of a pain and the joy for working in the CBD might wear off, I am loving going over the Sydney Harbour Bridge every morning, with an amazing view of the Opera House. I love strolling down George St on my way to work with a spring in my step. I love stepping off the bus and being part of the hussle and bussle. Being part of the city. It’s a magical city.

Though employment has made less time for writing. Though this blog isn’t something I want to let completely slide, because it has helped me so much in the past and just because I am in a really good place, doesn’t mean that I don’t have to work to stay on top of things. Life can twist and change and turn at any moment. It only takes something small to unravel everything, just as it only takes something small to change everything.