Realities of Travelling with a Partner.

I know in writing this, I will possibly be a bit biased and the point of me writing this post is not to discourage anyone from travelling with their partner. Travelling with your partner I am told can bring you closer together and make your relationship strong as you take on all the challenges together. It however comes with many certain realities that one must realise before taking this step. This is from the point of view from someone who it didn’t work out for. Reading blogs before I went was all from the point of view of partners that successfully travelled together, but there is much to be learnt from partners that did it and didn’t really live on to tell the tale.

I must warn you… this isn’t a love story.

• The first reality is that you are going to see them everyday. Whilst this might seem like a lovely thought now, when you are tired, grumpy and just want some alone time, they are there, still. Even worse, when they are tired and grumpy or worse in my exes case; hungry. Knowing their limits as well as your own is very important.
• Secondly, if you are combining meeting friends and family members overseas, if at all possible, try and keep it mutual. I can say after spending a fair chuck of my 4 and a half month trip with my exes family and friends and a total of 3 days with mine, that it can get a bit overbearing.
• Thirdly, if you are in your young 20′s and wanting to meet people, I can safely say that you will meet very few people. If you are one of those couples that likes doing things together, that is great, but in 4 and a half months, I didn’t exactly make many friends.
• Respect the need for space. Do things apart if you want to take this step. Spending 4 and a half months with someone constantly is really unnatural. Try to at least go to some museums or shopping or events on your own that your partner won’t enjoy. They will thank you for it.
• Respect your partner. If they aren’t comfortable with something, respect it. If you aren’t comfortable with something, tell you partner and as your partner they should respect you. If you don’t plan on respecting your partner, don’t do this to them. This goes for everything in a relationship really.
• Make sure you discuss what your expectations of the trip are. Every last detail. You want to make sure you are 100% on the same page. Not on the other side of the world, realising that they are chasing things that you were told they weren’t there to chase (yes I am still a little bitter )

Despite my negative experiences, I am still a romantic at heart. I hope if you are your partner are considering travelling together you realise it is not a step to take lightly, but it can have some very beautiful pros. Or so I am told.

The Travel Bug – A Fresh Start

What is it about the travel bug? I came home only a little over 2 months ago, from a fairly unsuccessful trip overseas and its only been 2 months and I have itchy feet already.

A wise friend of mine said to me ‘you don’t cure the travel bug by travelling’ and he is more than right. But at 22, I don’t think it is something I want cured yet. I have so many places I want to go and see and so many places to revisit and do again.

This is possibly become a bit of a need for me, to regain things my old relationship took away from me. My dream trip didn’t work out. It’s kind of painful still. I invested a lot of time, money and dreaming into that trip and it was a disaster. Well disaster might be a bit strong, but it was a disaster in hindsight. I know I would have got a lot more out of it, doing it my way. So a lot of me has this desire to go again, not to the same places, but to hit the road again and do it my way. To have a fresh start.

By the end of my trip when me and my ex boyfriend were abruptly going home, I contemplated going off on my own. He convinced me that I wouldn’t be able to do this. At the time, maybe he was right. But he had no right to tell me this. But now I know how much that he personally took away from me, how much he destroyed my self-worth and how much he took away my confidence and my self-esteem. As glad as I am that I am home, I am now strong again, stronger than ever before and ready to take on the world again.

It’s hard sitting still at the moment. I have so many options of things to do with my life that I am kind of scared to make a decision. I have a few interviews lined up, but there are so many things I want to go and deep down, I know I really just want to hit the road again. But my opportunity for that won’t come again for a little while and even then, it’s a bit of a long shot.

But I have to try, I have friends who keep telling me to take the safe road, but where is the fun in that.

A 20-year-old girl in Cambodia.

Right now, I have some friends who are travelling through Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam. Seeing their pictures and status updates on facebook is not only making me incredibly jealous but bringing me back to the greatest experience of my life.For me to recap this experience I will have to take you back to 2009.

2009 – Me a 20-year-old girl, with minimal direction in life, a student. (very similar to me now actually, just add 2 and a bit years and change student to unemployed) I had recently gone through a break up, had my wisdom teeth removed and spent weeks in bed from reactions in surgery, had an old friend pass away and get a bit down in the dumps. After the friend passed away I decided life was too short to live like this. I had some money saved as I worked way to much, so it was time for adventure.

After much consideration (about 45 minutes) I deferred Uni, so I couldn’t change my mind. I now had the free time and the urge to experience something different. Being the charitable person I am, I decided volunteering somewhere would be a good way to gain perspective. My first thought was Mexico, however my parents first thought was no.

My next choice was Cambodia and in all honesty I am not sure why it wasn’t my first choice all along. Having studied the Khmer Rouge 3 separate times in high school (once in year 7 for English, in year 9 and 10 for Asian Studies and year 11 and 12 for Modern History) I had always been fascinated by this country and its sombre history. So in the next couple of weeks I organised to volunteer in Phnom Penh teaching kids English for 6 weeks and travel around independently for a few weeks on my own to Vietnam and Thailand.

5th of September 2009 came and I was at  Sydney International Airport with my parents at 5am. Turns out when your flight is at 8am and they tell you to be there 3 hours before, they don’t really mean this, as the airport hadn’t even opened yet. I waited outside the airport for about 30 mins until the doors finally open and I jump in line to check in. (so turns out there probably wasn’t any need to run) After a scary few hours waiting nervously at the airport with my parents, whom constantly let me know that I didn’t have to go through with this, they would take me home, no questions asked. But it was something I had to do. I was scared, but in a good way.

I arrived in Phnom Penh and got to my guest house fine. Turns out 3 of the 6 people on the flight from Singapore (where I had a layover) where volunteering with me too. It was a relief to meet some people straight away.

Volunteering with these kids was one of, if not the most eye-opening experiences of my life. These children had been through terrible hardships, someone from my privileged upbringing could not even begin to comprehend.  However these children were some of the most beautiful and happy people I have ever met. They had such a childlike innocence that I lost well before  the age of 11-17 which they were when I had the pleasure of meeting them. They were smart, great dancers, unbelievably cheeky and had such a sense of community that at times, I found myself envious of. I know that may sound strange to some, but they had a great sense of community you just don’t find in the Western World. Phnom Penh and Cambodia has a completely different way of life to the Western World.

I can honestly say that I learnt a lot more from these kids about life then they ever could possibly learnt from me. They were great kids. It’s been over 2 years since I was there and I still miss them.

My trip to Cambodia also opened me up to other wonderful travel experiences. The other volunteers that were staying at the same guesthouse as me, were the best people that anyone could hope to meet when you travel. Over those 6 weeks, we became a family. A family with lots of sisters and only one brother.

My plans for travelling alone on the weekends when I wasn’t teaching these kids, didn’t really happen, instead a had a wonderful group of people to experience the journey with. Together with these people I explored Phnom Penh, including the Killing Fields, S 21, the king’s palace as well as many bars and restaurants, some cultural, some not so cultural.

I also travelling to Siem Reap with them, visiting all the temples as well as a trip to the Angkor What? bar. Oh it had to be done.

Some of the Family (i’m second from the right)

We also experienced the joys of the beaches of Sihanoukville (known to us as schnookumsville because of how someone pronounced it the first time they tried to read it) and the joys of the Mekong Buckets.

Mekong Buckets – containing one pair lemonade, one part red bull to about 10 parts cheap whiskey. (they really do look like the Mekong too)

I guess for me, this trip really was a once in a lifetime adventure. Going alone, I learnt so much about what I am capable of, so much about Cambodia and the world around me. So much about life and how other people live as well as learnt a lot about a group of people I otherwise would have never had the pleasure of meeting. It really was the greatest all round experience with a great mix of culture, growth, learning, fun and adventure. I recommend Cambodia as a must see destination for anyone that is interested in travel. After being around Europe and the USA since, I think Cambodia will always still hold that special place in my heart.

Great Australian Foods

Whilst travelling the world, I always commented that it was great to travel to all these exotic destinations with lots of different foods to try. Sampling all the local flare was definitely a highlight for me whilst travelling. I was also very quick to dismiss my own country, Australia from having any cultural flair, and whilst our foods might be limited compared to most countries around the world, Australia does have some of our own unique foods in which anyone visiting Australia must try.

Tim Tams – Arnott’s Tim Tam’s are a must if you were ever to come to our shores. A tasty, addictive chocolate biscuit (or cookie), these are an Australian Classic.

Shapes Biscuits – Another classic from Arnott’s, these savoury biscuits are a party or nimble food. Coming in a variety of flavours I would recommend the BBQ and Pizza Shape varieties. But I grew up eating these, as did most Australian children.

Mint Slices – Once again from Arnott’s. (Arnott’s should start offering Tourist visits, since they seem to make the only Australia foods) but these are biscuits or cookies with a mint filling, a chocolate cookie, covered in dark chocolate. I have photos of me sucking on these as a baby, before I even had teeth. It’s an Aussie thing.

Chicken Salt – Ok so everywhere in the world has hot chips, fries or pomme frites. But whatever you want to call them, we have a tiny little addition, which makes all the difference. Chicken salt, no one really knows or agrees with how its made (some say chicken bones, some refuse to accept that something that tastes this good could be made from grounded up bones) but either way, if you visit Australia, you must try hot chips with chicken salt. Yum. Anzac Biscuits – ok, so the origins of Anzac Biscuits is kind of debatable, but I think that at this point, it is fair to say that we definitely have the right to adopt them as our own. Named Anzac biscuits as during WWI, the people back home sent them to our troops (known as ANZAC’s Australia and New Zealand Army Corps) Clearly the people back home had no idea what war was all about as they also sent slippers, but these biscuits were known to transport well and take a long time before they went stale. They are part of our history.

Pavlova – Ok, so this might be originally from New Zealand, but we tend to have a habit of claiming stuff from the Kiwi’s. And it tastes so damn good, and is a damn talent to make.

So if your going to visit Australia, be sure to try all these things. We grew up on these. And if your Australia, appreciate that we might not have as much cultural flair as many places around the world, but we do have some classics that we take for granted.

Top Travelling on the Cheap Destination Choices.

Right now I am currently on the look for a new job. But if that plan fails, I plan on jumping ship and heading on a small me trip to cheer me and my lack of career paths up. However as one doesn’t have said job, money is a little tight. So I have been researching cheap locations and here is a list of my top choices. If anyone is reading this list, keep in mind that I am located in Australia, so these are cheap options for an Aussie to go visit in terms of including cheap flights as well as being a cheap location. Every site I have come across is from an American perspective making Mexico and Eastern European countries high on the list, and high on my list of ‘I wish I could afford you’. And with the Australian economy being as good as it is, there has never been a better time to hit the road.

Vietnam – I have been to Vietnam, but only Ho Chi Minh city and south of there, so a very small part. However Vietnam is cheap to fly to with flights being around $700-$800 return and accommodation being from no more than a $10 a night for a private guesthouse (and I mean maximum) Beautiful food, lovely people,fascinating culture, beautiful scenery. It’s pretty high on the list.

Cambodia – I have been to Cambodia and seen quite a bit. I probably wouldn’t go back because I am  scared to go back and tarnish my perfect view of this country. Although flights are semi expensive to Phnom Penh or Siem Reap because there are no direct flights from Australia. However direct flights from Darwin will be brought in to Phnom Penh by Jetstar as of April, making it an even cheaper option. Once you arrive however, you will be greeted by one of the most amazing cultural wonders around. A main meal at a restaurant will be as little as $2 (US currency so even less for an Aussie right now) and a double room will cost around $6. Cheap Cheap Cheap. Attractions are plentiful and cheap and you will find many cheap bargins at the numerous markets. Tuk Tuks and Moto’s provide cheap transport options, just be sure to barter.

India – I have never been to India, however it looks to be such a lively country. Flights are not as cheap as some other parts of Asia like Vietnam and Thailand, however you can get lucky and find the occasional fair that compares to these other destinations. With food and accomidation being just as cheap if not cheaper then South East Asia, it is definately up there on the exciting yet cheap destinations list. Materials and bangles are very cheap for fashion lovers and markets are meant to be plentiful.

Bolivia – The cheapest area of the South America’s region, however flights make this option a little out of my budget. But only a little, hence why I am still placing this on the list.

Ethopia – Same as above. The direct flights from Australia to Ethopia make this trip seem impossible, however flights from Ethopia to Asia, make this a dream for someone planning to go to Asia anyway. One you get there, you will apparently live without any wallet worries. And judging by the picture to the right, its well worth the trip.

Laos – Whilst I have seen a fair bit of South East Asia, Laos is one I have never really known much about. Less untouched then other South East Asian countries, it apparently offers a more authentic experiences. That sounds very promising. It is also much cheaper (didn’t know that was possible)

So there you have it. My cheap cheap list. Who knows were I will end up.

If I could give long term travellers one piece of advice

It would be to not lose yourself on the road. I always looked at those people that travel and spend half there time on facebook as idiots who are missing there own trip. Or those that watch every episode of a tv show from back home whilst on holidays to be fools. And maybe if they were just going away for a short period of time they would be fools, you don’t get to be abroad very often, why waste it. But the long term traveller is a whole different ball park.

Recently I went travelling with my now ex boyfriend for almost 5 months. The trip was originally meant to be 10 plus months but it was cut short by my unhappiness abroad. This unhappiness started slowly. At first it was a small amount of fear and anxiety. Could I be away this long? Did I even want to be away with long? This anxiety never really faded but in fact got gradually more dramatic as it festered away inside me until I couldn’t control it anymore. By the end I felt like I didn’t know who I was anymore and felt like my identity had  been stripped away from me. I didn’t know who this person I had become was. I was weak and scared and unhappy when previously I had been cheery, excited, strong and independant.

When I was travelling I became a different person. I believe this happened due to a number of reasons. These reasons were no ones fault but experiences in which I couldn’t handle. And whilst it is pointless for me to go through and explain exactly what happened step by step. I will give some reccomendations for things long term travellers to avoid doing.

Homesickness is inevitable, you will miss things from home. I think the trick is having enough things from home and activities that you enjoy still, but without being so overbearing that you are just missing home constantly.The only thing I took from home that was an activity I enjoyed was the music from my ipod. Once my ipod died very early in my trip, I soon just had my being and that was it. Gradually as I spent more time with my boyfriends family and friends, I began to not feel like ‘Nicole’ anymore, but just as, ‘the girlfriend’. And I didn’t have any part of myself to escape to. I didn’t have my tv shows that I usually escape into, or the indepth conversations with my mum about life, or my best friend. I didn’t have my role in my group of friends, which very much shapes my identity. I didn’t have any comfort thing, or my family photos in which I look at when I am sad, the park I go and sit at. Anything to really escape to or really call my own.

Last time I went overseas, I think I became a different identity as well, however I feel that identity was an improvement on my current identity, an extension if you will. This time however, my identity was lost. I started to question who I was as a person and felt life slip away from myself. I didn’t feel like I had anything but my boyfriend, and that was slipping away too. My identity was lost piece by piece. So if your thinking of travelling for a long period of time, I urge you to consider ways to keep up with things that you enjoy from home. Keep reading or writing your blogs, keep up with local news or things that you enjoyed now before you go. Because I sure as hell regret letting myself get so lost.

Reasons why I travelled alone (and why I would do it again)

There is nothing quite like the experience of your first solo trip abroad. The nerves, the adrenaline, the excitiment, the sheer fear, the independance, the feeling of freedom.

Two years ago I embarked on my first solo adventure as I travelled to Cambodia, Vietnam and Thailand. Having been to Thailand before I knew kind of what to expect but I was still so far outside my comfort zone being alone. At this point I was 20 years old and had barely even gone to the shops by myself let alone done anything really alone. Looking back sometimes I still have trouble believing that it is something that I really did. Whilst I was in Cambodia I undertook some volunteer work and met a lot of people, other travellers as well as locals and it was a good way to make the experience that little bit less scary. But these are the reasons I travelled alone.. and why ultimately I would do it again.

• The freedom – When you travel alone you can plan to do exactly what you want to do. You can stay in certain places as long as you want, have days where if you do not feel like doing anything but read or sit in a park, thats exactly what you can do. You can choose the activities in which you undertake and what you don’t have any interest in.
• The rewards  – When something goes wrong by yourself, its scary, but you don’t really freak out, because freaking out is in a weird way kind of a luxury. Have you ever seen those little kids lost in a supermarket, where they look so scared and they are way to scared to cry. It is only when being reunited with mum that they allow themselves to really feel what they felt and cry and get angry at mum. Being on your own is very much like that, you don’t have the luxury to get that scary or break down, you just have to get on with it and figure it out and that is exactly what you do. The feeling after this is amazing, because you get to see how strong you really are.
• No compromises – I’m not saying that travelling with a partner wasn’t nice, it definately has its good points, someone to talk to, someone to share everything with, someone to discuss things with.(thou I can say with a certain positivity that the next time I travel with a partner will be my honeymoon and not a moment sooner……even then might suggest that me and my future partner honeymoon separately) But at the end of the day both me and the person I travelled with had to make a lot of compromises for each other. He missed out on things he wanted and I missed out too. Travelling alone can have lonely parts but ultimately you avoid dissapointments too.
• Meeting people – When you travel alone, you meet a lot more people. I think its a combination of you being more approachable and you wanting to approach more. But ultimately you will meet people if you are alone.

I encourage anyone that is interested in travel to travel solo at some point of your lives. It teaches you your limits, is character building and really allows you to get to know yourself. It may just be the best thing you ever do.

Best Markets Worldwide

There is nothing like the magic of a really good market. The bargins, the atmosphere, the variety, the hidden treasures, the food. Sometimes the bartering, I could spend all day at a really good market. Here is a list of my favourites from around the world.

Changi Mai Night Market – Changi Mai Thailand. This night bazaar is amongst one of my favourites in Thailand, substantially cheaper then markets in Bangkok (espically if you know how to barter) there is some amazing bargins with basically anything available to purchase. Not to mention, how peaceful and pretty this market is as well as spread out. Its mostly tourists, however it is not what I would classify a tourist trap.

Brick Lane London – Having recently gone to a few markets in London, I found Brick Lane to be my favourite. Less punk and more chilled then other markets with a casual feel. Lots of trendy items at cheaper prices then you would imagine. Also great selection of food and a cool place to have a drink.

Pike St Market Seattle – So the markets here aren’t the best for purchasing items in my opinion, but I wanted to mention it anyway for two reasons. The location and the flowers. There is an awesome array of flowers in Pike St market and they are cheap cheap cheap. When I was sad in Seattle, it was walking amongst the flowers that cheered me up. The location of this market is also beautiful, with a lookout over the water, very tranqil location if nothing else.

Night Market – Siem Reap Cambodia. Despite my love for the Russian Market and the Central Market in Phnom Penh, my favourite Cambodia market would have to be Siem Reap Night market, where the central markets and russian markets have crazy clastrophobic atmosphere which can be a culture shock and a half and not for the faint hearted, the Siem Reap night markets are peaceful, calm and beautiful. Set to fairy lights, there are a range of items from t shirts, a great selection of silver jewellery to opium pipes and everything else in between. Wander over the peeble streets to this paradise for market lovers.

Glebe Markets Sydney – Possibly bias in mentioning Glebe Markets, I will mention that Glebe Markets can be expensive and overly hipster and trendy. However this market located in Glebe Primary School and Glebe Point Rd in the Summer has some of the most unique items, vintage clothes and many other treasures. Complete with fairy floss, lemonade and other various food stands, live music, a great park area and streamers, it brings back many school fete memories. It is a great way to spend a lazy summer saturday in Sydney.

5 Destinations for fellow History Buffs.

Whilst the term ‘history buff’ might be at little strong a name to describe myself, I love history and learning about recent past events of the world. And there is no better way to learn about these events then being exactly where they happened, hearing first hand accounts and seeing these sites for yourself. These are my 5 top destinations based on modern history. Keep in mind, I’m only mentioning places I have been. I’m sure there are many more fasinating destinations for this, in which I intend to find.

1.) Northern Ireland (Belfast and Derry) -  Belfast and Derry both share a sad politcal past. Whilst there is peace in these areas, tensions of past conflicts still remain to be seen. It was an area where a Union Jack made me feel a little uneasy. The murals found at Derry and Belfast show messages of hope, inspiration and strength and these murals were often the only way for the Irish Catholics to get there points of view across due to the censorship of the media. The Bloody Sunday site of Derry, shows the world what really is at stake. The Black Cabs Taxi Tour I did in this area was a highlight of my travels worldwide. The first hand accounts of bullets, bloodshed and brotherhood are vivid, passionate and incredibly moving.

2.) S21 and the Killing Fields (Phnom Penh)- In 2009 I travelled to Phnom Penh. Having studied the Khmer Rouge in high school it was always a period of history that compelled me. Being at S21, the school the Khmer Rouge transformed into a torture chamber and concentration camp was amongst some of the haunting stories I have ever heard. However it is not for everyone, blood stains still clearly visable and teeth and bone fragments can be seen at the killing fields. However it is a dark part of history that I feel everyone should know about. A greater percentage of the Khmer population died then Hilter took of the Jewish population, yet it seems to be missed in the history books.

3.) Berlin Wall – As a child my parents always told me of their travel stories. Amongst my favourite was the story about how they got a visa to go through east germany and out the other side of Checkpoint Charlie. Since then it has always been somewhere I wanted to go, to see for myself. The wall is not what you imagine, its wider and had large monuments stuck in the middle of no man’s land. The stories of separation, escape successes and failures and oppression in such a recent time really rang true how lucky I felt that my ancestors never experienced this, but many people did.

4) Budapest Prague and Other parts of Central Europe. – Firstly these areas faced the horrors of the Nazi’s. These areas were then ‘liberated’ by the Soviet Union, only to be passed onto another regime of horror by the Soviets through a dictatorship of communism. However despite these horrors you still manage to see human kindness in these tragedies. At the ‘House of Terror’ muesum in Budapest I heard a story. A story of a man who was in a prison chamber with his friend. Starving. They both were. His friend dissapears. He wonders if he will ever see him again. His friend reappears but doesn’t say anything, just grabs both hands and kisses him. But he was not really kissing him, but placing sugar cubes into his mouth with his. He committed that this single act of friendship in sharing these sugar cubes was the reason that he was still alive. The reason he had a wife and kids and a happy family and a furfilling life. I haven’t been able to repeat that story to anyone because I can’t bring myself to say it out loud without crying. Deeply moving.

5) Bratislava Slovakia. – Whilst I know this area is in Central Europe. I am going to give it a special mention. It was a very last minute thing to go here in the first place and it was somewhere I’d never really considered. However the history I learnt here was unlike other history. It was almost unknown. Did you know that the famous tank man photo of Prague Spring was actually taken in Bratislava. And that mysterious car crashes of officials are now being investigated by the UN. Need I say more.