Blogging My Way Out of a Black Hole

5 months ago, I was advised to start writing a journal or a blog to help improve my life. Not only does writing have a very therapeutic nature to it, it allows for a creative and effective means of self expression. This past 5 months has been a great journey for me. I can only say it has been at times the hardest time in my life, but at the same time I have discovered things about myself and life that have only and will only make things better in the future. These are all the things that the experience of blogging my way out of a black hole has given me.

Blogging has given me an outlet of Self Expression – It wasn’t until I started blog writing that I realised how much self expression was really missing from my life. I have always been a quiet and shy person, but I have always had opinions and things to say. In my situation overseas, I had limited people to express myself to as well as the fact that the only person whom I could express myself to on a daily basis, discouraged me from having an opinion differing to his. This made me timid to self express and to really thinking for myself and this blog has given me that internal power back.

Blogging has made me connected to the world like I never have before – With blogging, you get to know people by their experiences. Real life, you only find out their secret sorrows and life altering and defining experiences after you know someone a long time. Reading the blogs of others as given me a valuable insight to my fellow bloggers and a greater understanding of others. Greater understanding of what is beneath the surface.

Blogging has allowed me to understand my own life more – looking back at some of my first posts over 5 months ago, I was in a completely different place mentally and emotionally. The things I understand about my situation now, I didn’t when first writing this. I essentially have written my way out of a black hole, with a greater understanding of those around me, only achieved by the written word.

Blogging has connected me to a community of people who share a similar story – Going through an experience of being with someone narcissistic would have been a lonely journey without the blogging community and those blogs and people. So much of their stories, mirror my own, which has allowed me to understand exactly what happened in a step by step format. It has also given me a tremendous amount of support, where otherwise there would have been none that could understand on a personal level. The sharing of stories and experiences ultimately connects you on a deeper level. I have also found that the blogging community has been one of the most inclusive communities I have ever felt part of. I’ve had a number of people offer up their emails or to contact them if I ever needed them, which flaws me as to how nice some people in the world are. I’ve also never had anyone say a bad or ill word towards me or anything I am saying. I oddly don’t feel lonely very often, I thought in this situation I would, but oddly I don’t.

Blogging has made me view my life and the world differently – Blogging has made me notice things more. In wanting to update somewhat frequently, it makes me think about things more, notice things more, reflect more and share more. All very positive qualities in which I feel are shaping this new and improved version of myself. In extending onto this, I am now going to make a point of taking my camera everywhere I go, to encourage me to pay more attention to my surroundings.

Writing a Non Fiction Book Proposal

So I have my structure and plan all set out for my book proposal. Now I am filling in the blanks with research that I need to promote my idea.

It’s a lot more work than I originally thought. A lot more effort will be required than one without any knowledge of this would imagine. Turns out I don’t just need to figure out a plan for the book, but figure out, why it’s needed and how to market it. I don’t have any professional experience in any of these areas. Then again, neither would your average writer. (though they have writing skills so that puts them one step ahead of me)

Not only do I have to research the topic, the market, the competiton but also being a complete beginner at all this, I have to research how all these areas are done. There are many aspects to this process. More than anyone would imagine.

But I guess for me, I am really enjoying this process. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t enjoy it, but I am surprised how much I am getting into it. I never really get excited to do anything. I know that only 1% of proposed books get published, which just means there have been a lot of people in my shoes, with not many getting anywhere, but thats ok.

And it beats all those first time fiction writers out there, who usually have to write their whole book, before pitching, with only 1% published. Gosh that is an unforgiving business.

Yes, Another person wanting to write a book.

I realise that it is the dream of nearly every second person that owns their own blog, to become a writer or write a book. But it has never been my dream. I still don’t really think it is my dream. Lately I have figured out that my dreams involved International Aid and Community Development. I don’t have writing aspirations, I’ve never had writing aspirations. I am not even a good writer. I have no concept of editing or proof reading, I barely ever read over anything I write and I am more than certain it shows.

But I had this idea for a book. I have only ever mentioned it to one person before, who thought it was a good idea, however not sure if this person is someone who would really be telling me the truth. Basically my only way of figuring out if this is a good idea is writing a proposal for it.

After a bit of research into how this whole writing a book thing works, I have done some research into writing a non fiction book (yes non fiction, I’m not really a huge fiction book person) and it seems like writing a proposal is the way to go. So I have been writing a proposal. Yes I know I should be concentrating more on finding a job (and I am, I even have an interview tomorrow)

I know that to anyone who knows me or to anyone reading this, that this sounds ridiculous. I have no writing experience or knowledge and who in their right mind would ever let me publish a book. But hey I guess it’s just another thing I have to try to get out of my system. See where it takes me, and hey I might as well explore these kinds of options whilst I still live with my parents…. let them support me through-out all my ridiculous ambitions.

(and if there is any advice out there from all you writers, it would be appreciated )

1000 Views!

Today my blog reached 1000 views! I think that is a major achievement in itself and isn’t bad for less than 2 months of writing this thing. It’s quite flattering that people have even looked at it at all. It’s a beautiful thing. I know that a lot of people say that blog writing is killing writing. But I know that it’s more about the journey of the writer then if anyone really reads it at all.

Whilst this may sound sappy and overdramatic, and it kind of is. But this blog has kind of been a bit of a saviour to me. It has transformed me from depressed and alone to happy,enthusiastic and feeling connected to a world I wasn’t part of before. It has opened up a new world to me and new people to me. People that share the same experiences that I have and people who have similar views to myself, or a healthy debate against my views.

It’s also given me a channel to get my thoughts, emotions, feelings and opinions out, when they were before stuck in my head screaming to get out. I do realise that my transformation, and it is nothing short of a transformation has been more than just this blog. Family and friends have got me there too. But I know without having this as well, my wellbeing wouldn’t be anywhere near where it is today.

So thank you to anyone that has ever read it or made a comment on it. It is much appreciated.